IF A SO-CALLED PROSPECTIVE SUITOR REFUSES TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER, THAT PERSON DEMONSTRATES THAT YOU WERE RIGHT TO SAY NO IN THE FIRST PLACE. — HELEN CHRISTIE Continue reading Yes, It’s Harassment
I’m imagining this subway groper refusing to get out of bed and whining that women are so mean. He’s chewing on the corner of his pillow and complaining that the pillow is getting icky. We don’t know the name of this man because he escaped before the police arrived. He knows his name, though. He just can’t quite put it together in his head well enough to realize what a fart he is. No, that isn’t speculation on my part. If you’ve known enough people like him, you find them predictable. The woman he assaulted took a risk, but if … Continue reading Guess Who’s Calling Himself a Victim Now?
By now, most of us have heard about disgraced comedian Louis C.K.’s surprise appearance at Comedy Cellar in New York. We can’t always stop bad people from being admired public figures. It depends on the public’s value system, and whether enough of us are willing to demand that creative people adhere to the same decency standards that apply to the average person. Granted, there has been difficulty in applying basic decency standards to the average person, especially where sexual misconduct is concerned. Women still hear the questions “What were you wearing?” and “Why were you there in the first place?” … Continue reading Who Moved the Rock? And are We Surprised Louis C.K. was Hiding Under There?
Most of us can remember when we first heard allegations of Harvey Weinstein being a sexual predator. Immediately, Meryl Streep, a Hollywood insider, issued a statement emphasizing she didn’t know about Mr. Weinstein’s behavior until the scandal broke. Cover-ups are everywhere. Many of the people who know about dangerous skeletons in someone’s closet may wish they could speak up, too. They stay quiet because they fear whistleblower retaliation, and they doubt whether they can get the abuse stopped. Later, if the horrifying situation becomes common knowledge, some of those people who stayed quiet insist they were blissfully ignorant the whole … Continue reading Be Skeptical When You Hear “We Didn’t Know.”
Here’s a link to an excellent opinion piece by Katie Edwards on The Guardian’s site. Please note that she never suggests that women and girls should be locked up for their own protection. She suggests societies have to stop protecting the assholes who abuse women and girls. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/mar/21/silent-child-abuse-religion-rotherham-weinstein Continue reading Being Nagged Into Silence Makes Us Better People? NO!
Please click the link below to read an honest, level-headed article by someone who knows how these things happen. Many of us agree that men must speak up and make it clear that sexual harassment and assault are unacceptable, and that they want nothing to do with men who commit those offenses. Maybe the instances of sexual misconduct by male children and teenagers could be curbed if boys clarified the same rules for their peers. That’s just my own suggestion. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/feb/11/metoo-school-children-teens-sexual-harassment Continue reading Excellent Piece by Nancy Jo Sales on Sexual Harassment of Children by Peers
We’ve heard the ill-informed things some men say about sexual harassment and sexual assault. Personally, I can’t get used to any of it, but it doesn’t surprise me now. There’s more of a jolt when women say those things. Theoretically, women see it from the vantage point of someone who is harassed or assaulted. They understand that boundaries protect them. Well, most women understand. I should disclose a whole bunch of stuff before continuing: A close friend of mine — who will be referred to as “D” — was falsely accused of indecent assault on a teenaged boy during the 1990s. … Continue reading Some Women Just Don’t Get It
You might remember a woman named Jessica Hahn, whose name was associated with the PTL (Jim Bakker) scandal during the late 1980s. There was a horrible he said/she said dispute between Ms. Hahn and Rev. Bakker regarding the nature of intimate contact they’d had years earlier. She claimed rape, and he insisted his only transgression was he cheated on his wife with Ms. Hahn. In a recent interview in The Charlotte Observer, Jessica Hahn has apparently retracted the rape claim, but she doesn’t go easy on Jim Bakker. She regards him as a manipulator who took advantage of her naiveté, … Continue reading Jessica Hahn Today
While reading these allegations, I experienced an unpleasant “blast from the past.” Many years ago (or even more recently), a common reaction to the accusations might have been, “Well IS he gay?” This is never a sexual orientation issue. It’s a matter of a disturbed person using sex to abuse power. We may be more disappointed when it appears a sophisticated person (such as James Levine or Al Franken) has harmed people that way, but we should also be alert to the fact that talented people with high intellects can have traits we associate with the groper on the subway. … Continue reading James Levine Accused
When I was younger, I was harassed repeatedly by oafish men who thought they were sophisticated. I remember the absurd, vulgar pride one of them expressed when I heard him (falsely) claim to his friends that he’d had intimate relations with me. Everyone could see that I wanted nothing to do with him, so apparently he was claiming he had committed rape. That monster pursued me on a regular basis for six years, and for seven years after that he did inexcusable things in public places whenever I had the misfortune of running into him. When I spoke with friends … Continue reading Sexual Harassment Looks So Stupid