Ellen DeGeneres on Personal History
PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME, “WERE YOU FUNNY AS A CHILD?” WELL, NO, I WAS AN ACCOUNTANT. — ELLEN DEGENERES Continue reading Ellen DeGeneres on Personal History
Tag: Joke
The Wisdom of Experience
I DON’T NEED YOU TO REMIND ME OF MY AGE. I HAVE A BLADDER TO DO THAT FOR ME. — STEPHEN FRY Continue reading The Wisdom of Experience
A Nasty Confrontation (Excerpt)
“WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE SPECIES OF PENGUIN?” SHE SAID, CURTLY. Continue reading A Nasty Confrontation (Excerpt)
Slow News Day, Maybe
I’m not making any excuses for this, other than the fact that I’ve been busy and tired. There was also that matter of having to call rescuers when I saw a squirming pair of feet sticking out of a large bin. The person in question said he had been trying to get a used newspaper free of charge. I hope he didn’t ruin that business suit. You have to be able to unsee something like that before you can focus on anything else, so I took some time off from the blog. Now I want to compensate by posting something. https://www.fempositive.com/most-women-claim-they-dont-fart-in-front-of-their-partners-and-we-are-sick-and-tired-of-hearing-it/?fbclid=IwAR1AeoGfSKBbTZn88rSkxYsgIJMmcZ4x-dAaXXeNzYWqVrIeRD8QaE1meFk Continue reading Slow News Day, Maybe
A Web-Footed Education
EVERYTHING I KNOW I LEARNED FROM DUCKS. THAT EXPLAINS THE FASCINATION WITH CHARTS, GRAPHS AND STATISTICS. — HELEN CHRISTIE Continue reading A Web-Footed Education
Overheard on the Subway
MAYBE THE GLUE THEY USE FOR FALSE EYELASHES WILL PREVENT THESE UNDERPANTS FROM CREEPING UP. — OVERHEARD ON THE SUBWAY Continue reading Overheard on the Subway
Ethel Merman’s Wit
I CAN HOLD A NOTE AS LONG AS CHASE NATIONAL BANK. — ETHEL MERMAN Continue reading Ethel Merman’s Wit
Mark Twain on Anger
WHEN ANGRY, COUNT TO FOUR. WHEN VERY ANGRY, SWEAR. — MARK TWAIN Continue reading Mark Twain on Anger
Simon Helberg Quotation
I OWN A FART CD. IT HAS, I BELIEVE, OVER 100 FART SOUNDS. A LOVELY VARIETY, FROM THE UP-CLOSE AND PERSONAL TO THE MORE EXPERIMENTAL AND DISSONANT. SOME PEOPLE PREFER TO LISTEN TO BACH WHEN THEY GO TO SLEEP…NOT ME. — SIMON HELBERG Continue reading Simon Helberg Quotation
Imaginary Friends: The New Gods
ALWAYS RESPECT IMAGINARY FRIENDS. THEY’RE ON TWENTY-FOUR HOUR CALL, AND YOU’RE NOT. — CORDIALLY, HELEN Continue reading Imaginary Friends: The New Gods
