Imaginary Friends: The New Gods
ALWAYS RESPECT IMAGINARY FRIENDS. THEY’RE ON TWENTY-FOUR HOUR CALL, AND YOU’RE NOT. — CORDIALLY, HELEN Continue reading Imaginary Friends: The New Gods
Tag: imaginary friends
Teddy Bears Never Stop Protecting Us
If you’re on Twitter, I recommend following username @Emergency_Teds. They keep the United Kingdom safe, and some of us already know from experience that stuffed animals protect us at home. While we’re on the topic: Please refrain from putting currency in the clotheswasher/dryer. Check all pockets carefully before washing. Some of us really can’t tolerate the sound of a coin spinning in the dryer. It’s as bad as fingernails on a blackboard. Continue reading Teddy Bears Never Stop Protecting Us
Why Can’t He Grow Up, I Ask
MY IMAGINARY FRIEND IS LAUGHING BECAUSE THE CORNER DRUGSTORE SHELVES RAISIN BRAN AND TOILET PAPER IN THE SAME AISLE. I WISH HE’D GROW UP. Continue reading Why Can’t He Grow Up, I Ask
A Tormented Conscience
MY IMAGINARY FRIEND IS SO KIND. HE’S AN ASSHOLE, BUT A KIND ASSHOLE. THIS MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY WHENEVER I SPEAK UP ABOUT THE CIGAR SMOKE. Continue reading A Tormented Conscience
