If You’re Desperate and Lonely Enough…

If you’re ever trapped in a group of people you don’t respect while you’re having the equivalent of a bad hair day with your conversational skills, here’s a shortcut for making the day more interesting — or at least more aggravating:

Sit quietly for awhile, and then start giggling.  It isn’t that difficult to do convincingly.  Just recall a memory which never fails to make you laugh.  For example, the time when you looked up from the Daffy Duck cartoon on your smartphone and saw your least favorite co-worker slip on the freshly waxed floor.

If you giggle hysterically in front of others without an explanation, someone may ask you what’s so funny.  However, if no one asks after the first ten seconds, give up immediately.  In this instance, silence from your adversaries should be interpreted as lack of interest, and within a minute or two they’ll be even less interested if you persist.

If someone asks, you’re in luck.  Go for it!

Get an embarrassed facial expression and say, “I’m sorry,  I didn’t mean to laugh.  It’s just so awful.  Ignore me.”

You’ll have everyone’s attention for the next few minutes, or maybe longer if they’re gullible enough.

Trust me.  If you can pander to the cheapest public curiosity in the first place, you’ll succeed in making absolute fools of people.  Just ask anyone who works for News Corp.

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