Too Soon?

Earlier this month, I had a miniature “nervous breakdown” (an outdated term, but calling it a psychotic break would be a gross exaggeration).

I was semi-functional, and actually wrote more than usual.  I just wasn’t that good about putting the writing on paper or into the computer.

One aspect of the writing went at least as well as when I’m healthy, though.  It found its way onto Kindle within one week, too, even if you count the days when the alleged writing was limited to staring at the ceiling over my bed and letting my imagination take charge.  The typing at the computer — rough draft and editing — was completed in a couple of days.

I know this new piece of fiction might be interpreted as an outline, and should be expanded to something longer. However, it’s worth publishing as a standalone short story, and the price is only 99 cents on Kindle.  If you want, you can read a free sample and then decide whether you’re interested.  Women are more likely than men to have a feel for the central character’s situation and her reactions.

If you’re curious about the nature of the breakdown, I really don’t mind sharing that on the blog.  I took Zoloft for seven years, and began noticing a lower tolerance for the drug last year.  So, with medical supervision, I tapered off of it.  If you’re taking an anti-depressant, you probably have a doctor you can consult if you believe your reaction to the drug is changing.  Don’t just stop taking mood-controlling medication abruptly without advice.  That can make you a lot sicker than I got.

In my case, weird things that happened while the Zoloft doses were winding down included a sleepwalking episode (aggravated by other factors, including a late night YouTube marathon), and were tolerable.  Creepy, but tolerable.

The tapering off was done carefully, and I expected my mental state to return to the iffy-but-survivable way it was before I ever took the drug.  However, after one day of floating, pleasant freedom while the last small dose was leaving my system, the chemicals in my brain temporarily crashed.

Most people didn’t know what was going on because I stayed in my apartment most of the time.  Writing was a good release, and I went back to YouTube frequently.  Maybe the screentime was making the overall problem worse, but the videos were so appealing then. Besides, they were sources of inspiration for blog pieces, which I wanted to keep posting.

Be that as it may (one of my favorite snooty expressions), here’s the link for anyone who wants to sample the wild shit that came out of my mind last week.  The sample may actually remind you — especially if you’re a woman — of how vulnerable you were at one point during your life.  Then you can decide whether you want to find out what happens over the next few decades.

Note: The story has some explicit sex, but restraint is used.  No, we’re not talking about leather ties or handcuffs.  Some distasteful life experiences are addressed, and it is important to depict those tragedies with sensitivity.

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